


Whisper in the Mind

by Savoury_Jelly



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: F/M, Finnrey Fridays fic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-09-15
Updated: 2017-09-15
Packaged: 2018-12-30 06:56:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,944
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12103215
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Savoury_Jelly/pseuds/Savoury_Jelly
Summary: A mission for the Resistance leaves both Finn and Rey with amnesia. They can't remember their Force powers -- or the fact that they had been very happily married and deeply in love.---Finnrey Fridays' amnesia prompt spurred this. I'll try to be regular with updates.





	Whisper in the Mind

Rey pressed her thumb onto the datapad and watched as the console emitted a series of beeps and then went ominously dark. After a few seconds of silence, she raised her eyes to the man opposite her, eyebrows high.

The greybearded man regarded her for a few moments before shaking his head. His blue eyes looked sad.

"It's complete. Your biosignature, as well as Finn's, has been recorded. And so, according to the laws of the New Republic, you and Finn are officially ... divorced."

There was a murmur in the crowd that had gathered in the small room. Rey heard a sniffling sound and turned round to see a dark-haired man --

_Poe. His name is Poe. He's a pilot. And the girl next to him is Jessika. She's a pilot, too. Poe. Jessika.  They were your friends ... once._

_\--_ discreetly wiping at his eyes. Next to him was a dark-haired woman -- Rose, Rey remembered -- whose face was drawn and grim, her eyes shiny with unshed tears. All the others wore faces of varying emotions ranging from sorrow to disbelief. It unnerved her. It was difficult for her to understand why so many people would be distressed at her ending a marriage -- particularly when she didn't really remember any of _them_ or why they would feel so.

Just like she didn't have any memory of her husband -- ex-husband, now.

"So that's it? We're ... done? Just like that?"

As Finn spoke, he kept watch out of the corner of his eye on the woman who had, just seconds before, had been his wife. And, to hear others tell it, had been the love of his life. In the seven Standard months since the accident that had resulted in his and Rey's short-term memories being wiped clean, so many people had tried to help him -- help them both -- remember not only their missions within the Resistance and their duties as soldiers wielding the mysterious "Force," but also their love for each other. According to Poe, he had misled the entire Resistance in order to mount a rescure of Rey. According to Rose, he had curttailed one of their missions because he'd sensed Rey needed him on a distant planet. According to the greybearded man called Luke Skywalker, he and Rey were bound by this Force and had been from the moment they met.

But according to Finn's brain, there was a simple white space where these memories once resided. He had hazy memory of being young, very young, and being cold and afraid and in darkness and desperate to escape. But after that, nothing. Nothing about these "missions." Nothing about this "Force." Nothing about the woman he was supposed to have loved with all his soul and now hadn't the vaguest memories of.

Rey glanced over at Finn, catching his eye. They smiled delicately at each other, like strangers at a banquet who inexplicably kept running into each other and were slightly embarrassed by it. When Luke Skywalker -- her _father,_ apparently, though he had no memory of _him_ either -- had told her of her connection to Finn, her first thought was that while she had no recollection of Finn at all, let alone of marrying him, he _seemed_ like the sort of man she could love. He had kind eyes and a beautiful smile and arms that seemed warm and comforting. His voice was soothing and he radiated strength. It did not surprise Rey that she would have been drawn to Finn. But she simply couldn't _remember_ anything about their relationship. How it began, how it progressed, the moment that they realized they were in love.

"Now what happens?" Finn asked Luke. "What do we do now?"

"That is entirely up to you and to Rey," he said softly. "Just as you both decided that since memories of your marriage have not returned to you -- and Dr. Kalonia cannot say for sure that your memories will ever return -- that the best course of action would be to dissolve your union, what you both now decide to do with your lives is your choice."

Rey looked at her father, and thought not for the first time that she saw little of herself in him. But his twin sister, Leia -- who apparently died during a battle of the war in which the Resistance had been embroiled -- evoked a sense of familiarity to Rey. If someone had said she was her mother, she would have believed it wholeheartedly. But she had not been.

"You said that Finn and I are strong in the Force. That we were training with you," said Rey. "Won't that continue?"

"If you wish it," said Luke. "Snoke's death has thrown the First Order and the Knights of Ren in disarray. That doesn't mean that they are defeated. In fact, I know that they are not. There is still an imbalance in the Force."

Rey and Finn glanced at each other again. Rey shuddered. The names "First Order" and "Knights of Ren" filled her with revulsion, not just because she had learned that these entities were evil to their core, but because apparently, these groups were responsible for erasing her and Finn's memories of their lives. Of each other.

* * *

 

There hadn't been quarters specifically for couples per se, but they'd had one of the bigger rooms on the spartan base. In the days after they'd both awoken to the terrifying emptiness where their memories had been, Rey had kept to the room, wistfully touching the petals of numerous plants ranged around the space. Luke told her she had been an aficionado of plantlife, and that the Dagobah creeper that twined around the ceiling had been a wedding gift from him. Finn apparently had a strong affection for stellar cartography, as charts from distant star systems adorned many of the walls.

After two months, it was decided that living together was probably not a good idea for either of them. Finn had gallantly suggested that Rey stay in the larger quarters while he went to a smaller room. Rey had refused, not wanting to be surrounded by these living reminders of a life she no longer knew. In the end, they _both_ moved out into single-occupancy berths, but their shared quarters was kept in a kind of stasis, with nothing touched except when some of the droids came to see to the plants.

Three days after the dissolution of their marriage, however, Finn and Rey met in the room again, to talk. Finn noticed worry lines etched into Rey's forehead and he wondered at that. Maybe it was uncharitable to think of it, but Rey was beautiful, young, and apparently the daughter of a famous man and the relation of a famous and wealthy family. He wasn't sure what there was for her to worry about.

Then again, one of those family members was evil and had been in on the attack that had stolen their memories. So there was that.

Rey took a deep breath. "You're leaving?"

Finn blinked. Word traveled fast. Or was it this "Force" that was supposed to bind them at work? Could Rey have somehow _sensed_ his plans?

"I think it's for the best, yeah," said Finn. "I wanted to tell you myself --"

"I heard Poe and Rose talking about it in the canteen," said Rey. "I don't think they realized I could hear them." She paused for a moment. "I don't think they like me very much."

Finn shook his head. "I think it might be that Poe and I were friends first. So were Rose and me. They said they both met you a lot later. I'm sure they like you. I mean, Poe's a pilot like you, and Rose is a mechanic like you are. _Were_. Why wouldn't they like you?"

Rey was quiet. Finn didn't see the speculative looks that the two gave her, or the almost ostentatious politeness. She and Finn had mutually decided to end their marriage when the base's doctor told them that their memory loss was likely permanent. But Rey suspected that those who had been Finn's friends first felt that she had pushed for the divorce and was abandoning him. Apparently neither of them had the healthiest upbringing, but Finn had been part of this shadowy First Order -- stripped from his family and raised to be a soulless killing machine -- expected to kill until his usefulness was expended and then tossed away. Rey wondered if Poe and Rose thought that she was doing no better by agreeing to the divorce. But it was what they'd _both_ decided and agreed on.

Yet, he was leaving the Resistance, which did surprise her. She'd assumed that they'd both slowly become acclimated to their new reality _together._ Yet, Finn had other plans.

"Is it ... is it because of the divorce?"

"Yes."

Rey breathed out slowly. _Kriff._

"Oh."

She swallowed and tried to think of something - anything - to say.

"Oh. But it's just ... we _both_ decided that it might be better if we weren't married anymore, and --"

"Right. I still think we made the right decision," he said. "But that doesn't mean that I feel completely comfortable here. I mean, this is basically your home. Luke is your father. General Organa was your aunt ..."

 _... And the person who did this to us was my cousin_. Rey closed her eyes tight. _A real family affair all the way around_.

"I just think all things considered, we probably need a little space from each other," said Finn. "You know, to just process things. And it seems only right that I be the one to leave. I talked with Luke and he agreed that I needed to forge my path and decide what was right for me."

"He's all right with you leaving?" Rey stared. "But I thought he wanted you to resume your training in the Force?"

"He does. But I don't know if _I_ want to do that. At least, not now." Finn paused. "I'm sure I did enjoy the training, but now ... I feel like I want to explore. Maybe find my family. Luke said we were working on that before ... before the attack. That we had some leads. You and me, I mean. We were able to find an information cache and it had some clues as to which planet I was abducted from. Maybe with some more research I can pinpoint just where it was, and maybe I'll be able to find my parents ... or siblings, if I had any."

Rey swallowed a lump in her throat. During the months that the medical staff had tried to cure their amnesia, Rey learned that she, too, had lost her family once, but had found it again. Luke said it had to be the work of the Force. But if that were true, then it seemed that the Force should have brought Finn to _his_ family, as well. Maybe it would. Maybe that was behind Finn's desire to leave. It could be the Force guiding him.

Rey stood, feeling a pang of sadness as she turned to face Finn and stare into his soft, kind eyes. If Poe and Rose weren't particularly fond of her before, they'd certainly not be too thrilled with her when Finn actually left.

"I'll be sad to see you go," she said, meaning it. "But I think I understand. If our positions were reversed, I might want to do the same. I hope that you find your family, Finn. You deserve that, and more."

"Thanks." He stood, too, and looked around at the dim room. "This is a nice room. I like the maps. And the plants. We had a lot of nice times in this place."

Her eyes snapped open wide. "You remember something?"

"Um, no. I just ... assumed." Finn suddenly couldn't meet her eyes. "I mean we _did_ live here together, and we were married, so .. uh ..."

"Oh. Right." She blushed. It was odd to think that they had been intimate in this place, likely making love among these same plants and in the same oval-ish bed that abutted a far wall. She wondered if the choice of bed had been one conducive for lovemaking or if it had been a private joke, or something else entirely. ...

"When are you leaving?" Rey pushed away those thoughts, not necessarily because they were embarrassing, but because she had a brief thought that at some time in the not-so-distant past, she had fallen asleep and woken in Finn's strong arms, and _that_... was an embarrassing and probably not-quite-appropriate image to have in her head, particularly at this juncture.

"In a few days. Traders from Eriadu will be here to drop off supplies," he said. "Luke says he's sure he can persuade them to give me a lift back to the Outer Rim. Maybe not to Eriadu, though. I've been doing some research, and for some reason, the planet Garel is drawing my interest."

"Really? Do you remember anything about it?"

Rey was curious. When confronted with holoimages of Jakku, the desert planet upon which she'd "grown up," she had no real opinion of it other than it seemed hot, bleak and unpleasant.

"Not really, but when I studied the history of other planets in the Outer Rim, something about Garel just kept catching my attention."

"It could be the Force guiding you there."

Finn smiled weakly and shrugged again. "Could be. I figure that it's a place to start, anyway."

Rey was quiet. Luke had told them about the Force, this mysterious energy that bound every living thing and that some beings had the ability to channel to perform great and almost unbelievable deeds. Until the incident that took away their memories, she and Finn had apparently been proficient in using the Force, particularly in battle. Luke had assured them that the Force was still strong within them, but their impaired memories were acting like a bottle on a cork, preventing them from being able to truly access their powers.

Rey had noticed that during the months since their return to the D'Qar base, Finn had seemed very skeptical about the Force, although Luke had showed them some of its practical applications. She couldn't be sure, of course, but she had an inkling that ... _before_  ... Finn wasn't a nonbeliever, that he had revered the Force as much as Luke did. Somehow Rey felt that if anyone was the skeptic, it was her.

But who could know? Certainly no one in that room. Not anymore.

* * *

 

It was closer to five days, and the parting at the end was somewhat anticlimatic. Rey suspected that Finn had said his personal goodbyes to Poe and Rose, because they were not there at the docking bay. The traders had gone into their craft, leaving just Luke, Rey, Chewbacca and Finn on the gangplank. Rey thought Finn looked like a merchant himself. He wore a simple tunic and breeches that looked as soft as brezak feathers. The belongings that he'd opted to take with him were in a small rucksack. For reasons that Poe had declined with a sad smile to expand upon, he'd insisted that Finn take a battered leather jacket with him, saying that it was "for luck," and Finn wore it now. It suited him, Rey thought.

Luke cleared his throat and turned to Finn, a gentle smile on his face. "Finn, a very long time ago, someone who I ... would come to regard as an extremely important presence in my life, said to me 'The Force will be with you, always.' It was almost the last thing he ever said to me." He paused. "And I say to _you_ now that the Force will be with _you_ , always. I hope that they won't be my final words to you. I hope we'll see you here again."

Finn bit his lip and nodded. "I ... I think you will." He glanced at Rey. "I just ... this is what I need right now. After everything, I just feel like this is what I need to do. But ... maybe it won't be forever."

Chewbacca growled, and Finn and Rey both smiled politely. They had told Rey that she had once understood Chewie's language, but it was almost impossible for her to believe. She wished that she could still understand. Chewie's eyes looked suspiciously bright, and he hung his head slightly, as if he couldn't bear to see Finn actually walk away.

"Take care of yourself, okay?" Finn said to Rey, pumping up a smile that had gone a little flat. "When I get settled, I'll write. Or we can chat over the holos. Whatever works best."

Rey nodded quickly, feeling a stinging behind her eyes. Even though she and Finn were not what they had been to one another, she still had gotten to know him and would miss him deeply.

"I hope you find your family," she said softly. "I hope you find everything you're looking for."

Finn started to speak but shook his head and held out his arms for her. Unthinkingly, she went to them and buried her face into his shoulder, the tears coming hot and fast before they both pulled away.

She wiped at her face as Finn walked up the gangplank into the ship, stopping once to look back at her. The words came to her mind unbid, but by the time she thought to voice them, the door had closed and the ship was preparing to depart.

Slowly walking back to the base, Rey puzzled over the insistent way the words had taken up residence in her brain, as if it was something she'd done before, something familiar, something that was _theirs_.

_**Don't go.** _

 

 


End file.
